either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
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Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
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Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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