oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
