but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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