Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
