i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Boobs speak an international language.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
