Christians are straight up FREAKS
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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