Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
