I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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