I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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