boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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