let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
