the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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