He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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