I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
