You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize