tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
