I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
