Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
