How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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