hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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