You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
