I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
