best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
