captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
