Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
