at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
