I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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