hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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