I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
