life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Randomize