Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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