Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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