I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize