Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
