i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
