What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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