theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
