I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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