i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
