Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
