She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
