i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
