next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
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I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
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Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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