I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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