i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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