Im at strip club and am horny
You smell like a Billy Joel song
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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