you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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