I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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