p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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