Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
