i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
