plz talk dirty to me
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
