The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
