Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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