Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
