he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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