Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
