Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
