woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
