they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
