You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
babies were throwing up all over the place
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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