my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
