i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You're earring is so big in my mouth
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
