Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
