Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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