Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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