pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
