Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize