I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
